Pre-Conception Resources

Jan 18, 2022
How do you Consciously Conceive a child?
"Conscious Conception" is the understanding that conceiving a child is about far more than just sperm meeting the egg at the right time of the woman’s cycle. So many women attempt to get pregnant by having sex two weeks after their bleeding time (period) and have no idea when they are even ovulating, or how to recognize their body’s natural symptoms of readiness for a child without using medicalized tests, etc. They also often do not understand the inherent connection between the physical and the psycho-energetic that needs to be made in order for a child to come to you. This leads to perfectly healthy couples trying to conceive for months and months and after one year of trying, being told that they must be infertile or their partner must be infertile, and being instructed to attempt IVF or use pharmaceutical hormone/fertility supplements. Thus begins the medicalization and pathologization of the baby's entire existence, starting with conception and continuing through pregnancy and birth. Conscious Conception is a relaxed and acceptance-based approach at conceiving a child, and it works.
The Free Birth Society Podcast shares real stories of women with this experience:
If you are trying to prepare your body for conception…. Consider this: ✔ Get to know your cycle on an intimate level: Use the Fertility Awareness Method to check your own cervical fluid daily and it will tell you if you are fertile or not! Thick/Gummy/Sticky/Dry-feeling : NOT fertile. Nearing your period. Creamy/Sticky/Slightly less dry: NOT fertile Cloudy/stretchy/like uncooked egg-whites: Semi-fertile Watery/Stretchy/Clear/Smooth: VERY FERTILE! ✔ Test your temperature in bed in the mornings, before you get up: Your temperature will drop very slightly right before ovulation. Then when you have ovulated, it will increase and stay higher for a few days.
✔ Your period is not a marker of your ovulation! Counting days isn’t accurate and can lead to you missing your ovulatory period every single month.
If you know your cycle, and you are accurately having sex on and around your ovulation time, and still not becoming pregnant… ✔ Meditation/Relaxation: Your body will not ovulate if you are in stress-mode. Not just stressed about getting pregnant, either, but stress regarding anything. If you are experiencing tension in your body, if you are cultivating a mindset of “go go go”, your body will struggle to make space for a baby to come down. Your baby IS with you, watching you and waiting for the environment to feel calm and safe enough to come to you. You must cultivate an OPEN mind in order to have an OPEN uterus and cervix. Developing a meditation practice where you sit peacefully and quietly, scanning your body for tension and releasing those muscles, and/or spending quiet and relaxed time in nature every single day, will be key to welcoming your baby in.
Pregnancy is a state of YIN - softness and relaxation. Attune your body to that state, and your baby will feel safe to enter.
Manifestation: Your baby is not a product that you will just “get”. It is life that you will CREATE within you, and be responsible for during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Either write or speak out loud your “dream pregnancy”, your “dream birth”, and your “dream postpartum time”. Describe where you will be, what it will look like, what it will feel like, even what your baby will be like. Get as detailed as you can. Dream big! Imagine your perfect birth. Imagine what it will feel like to have a baby kicking you from the womb. Put your hands over your womb and try to genuinely believe that you will feel these things. When you get into a hyper-masculine or stressed/over-productive state, you can stop what you are doing, return to this dream scenario in your mind, put your hands over your womb area and repeat “You are safe, baby. I am ready for you. You are safe.”
Listen to what needs to be done: Often times our babies wait for us to learn certain lessons or change certain things before they feel comfortable coming down. That can be as simple as a diet change - attuning your body to the best possible frequency for pregnancy and conception, or as complex as a major lifestyle change.
✔If you are drinking alcohol or using drugs, consider seriously decreasing your use now or stop completely. Your baby needs you to be conscious and mindful as you welcome them into your body.
✔If you are eating unhealthy or feeling “regret” after you eat, start eating things that you intuitively crave and that make you feel really good when you are done.
✔If you are working a job that you are unhappy with - consider this. A constant state of dissatisfaction does not feel safe for a baby - your baby knows that they do NOT want to be the thing that “saves” you from a life you aren’t happy with. They do not want to be your only source of joy. Before you get pregnant, attune yourself to what makes you happy on a daily basis!
✔If your days are already 100% full of productive activities - your life and body do not have space for a baby. Which requires lots of rest, and lots of conscious & mindful TIME. Start making this time and space now. Your baby will feel you carving out space in your life for them, and they will feel safer coming embodied.
Connect with your Spirit Baby: If you have the desire to be pregnant, you have a spirit baby waiting for you. This spirit baby is on the other side, but you can talk to them. You can see their face. You can receive messages from them. Here is a guided meditation from the Free Birth Society for connecting with your spirit baby that I really loved: And lastly, maybe the most IMPORTANT thing (more important than eating right, more important than knowing when you ovulate, more important than meeting your spirit baby through meditation….)
WORK ON YOUR BAGGAGE. If you have deep wounding patterns that are not being dealt with, your baby will wait until you work through them. Your baby will gladly wait until you are 45 (which is still a time to safely become pregnant, by the way!) if you are not doing your inner work. When you have carved out your time & space for a baby, consider the following journal prompts as inspiration to start planting the seeds of healing for your baby to feel safe & come in… 💚 Do you have unresolved issues with your mother? Is there a disconnect between you? Describe your ideal mother - what you would have wanted for your childhood? Did your real mother live up to that? Are you still hurting deep down from the areas where she did not live up to your needs? Do you hold any worry within you about failing your baby in those same ways?
💚 Do you have unresolved issues with your father? Do you feel safe when you set boundaries with other people? Is your current relationship a reflection of your mother and fathers relationship? Was your father a good example of a man for you? Do you hold any worry within you about your partner failing your baby in the same way your father might have failed you?
💚 Who is your inner-child? Do you take care of her? Do you spend time doing things that aren’t necessarily productive, but nurture your soul? What do you have that makes you truly feel ALIVE? What in your life truly makes you feel FREE? Are you seeking a baby to make you feel these things?
💚 How is your relationship with your partner, the father of your spirit babies? Do you struggle to trust him? Does he hold the primary masculine role in your family - whatever that looks like for you two? Are you able to rely on him for protection, safety, security, drawing boundaries for your family, etc. ? Do you feel the need to mother your partner?
💚 How is your relationship to feminine energy in your life? Do you shy away from things that might make you look or feel “soft”? Have you taken on stronger masculine energy because it makes you feel safer in this world? What notions do you have ingrained psychologically about what it means to be “feminine”? Are these notions positive or negative? How can you attune yourself more to honoring your feminine side, and embracing the beauty in being uniquely a woman? Are you ready to live in a primarily feminine way for the next 9 months as your body becomes less and less capable of masculine-energy activities? Are you ready to let go of the things that pregnancy and motherhood will not be served by? How do you feel when other women in your life become pregnant or embrace their femininity?
💚 Do you feel held and supported by your community in a true and deep way? If you were in emotional crisis, are there people around you that you could reach out to and know that they would take care of you? Do you feel safe to be vulnerable in your household, in your community, in your family? Do you know how to ask for help when you need it?
💚 Do you have unresolved trauma? Physical, emotional, sexual, etc. trauma? Do things in your daily life remind you of that trauma event(s) and impact you? Does your trauma impact your relationship with your partner? Does it impact your relationship with your body?
💚 Do you have a negative relationship with your menstrual cycle? Are you grossed out by your period blood? Is your partner grossed out by your period? Do you experience PMS in a negative way? Do you have any special practices that you do only during your bleeding time to honor your body’s needs? Do you feel sad or disappointed every time you get a period? Do you blame your anxiety or emotional disregulation on your period? Have you taken hormonal birth control for extended times? How long have you had fully naturally occurring periods and ovulation cycles? Do you believe that your body is flawed in its cycles? Do you keep your cycles hidden? Do you feel genuinely educated on what practices (fitness, nourishment, rest, supplementing, etc.) are best during which phases of your cycle? Do you know how it feels to be un-aligned with the proper practices based on your cycle time? Do you ignore your cycle?
These are just the beginnings of the deeper work that is sometimes REQUIRED to call in your spirit baby. Do you need to know the answers to all these questions? NO Do you need to be perfectly healed from all these things? NO But will your baby come to you if you are burying them all? NO. Before becoming a mother, you will need to address these internal points of work. Your baby is as close to “God” / the universe / the “other side” as they will EVER BE right now. They are the most tuned in to nature and their unique spirit’s needs, as they will ever be. You need to get on THEIR level in order for them to feel safe coming down to live in your body! Does your work need to be perfect? Do you need to feel great and balanced and like a divine feminine goddess all the time? NO! 
But you need to at least acknowledge and address these things and prove that you are willing to do the work. Conscious conception is a privilege, and a responsibility, and a DEEP path. It is not the path of letting yourself get overwhelmed with trying to force your body to be baby-ready with pills and injections and doctors who don’t know you/your life. It is not reading a ton of books and making “baby-making” your entire life. It is not demanding sex at certain times in order to force a baby in, even if you and your partner aren’t feeling it. Conscious Conception is a path of complete self-improvement and aligning your life with your HIGHEST self. And ultimately, accepting that if you do all that, and a baby still isn’t here… Then you cultivate acceptance. And maybe your spirit baby is coming through another woman to meet you as an adopted child or a foster kid. ✨ But do not give up on conceiving a child if you have not looked at first BIRTHING YOURSELF and CONCEIVING of your highest self. If you do these things and call your baby in intentionally… you will experience the true empowerment of aligning with motherhood ON PURPOSE! ✨
 I believe in you, mama!  


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